Dork Life Episode 1: A Truce While We Gawk

So my friend Jason Riggs and I decided to do a podcast and we've finally got around to recording one. Bear with us during this early stage of our...production. I hope you listen and enjoy.

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

I love Christmas. I have a lot of feelings about it. I really want to talk about those feelings but I know I’ll never be able to in a way that will truly satisfy me. But I’ll try anyway. I’ll try to be concise. But I’ll most likely be longwinded and unorganized, going off on tangents, and over-explaining things in an attempt at clarity. But now that I think about it, that’s exactly what the name of this blog tells (or warns). So here I go.

I love Christmas, and not just for the obvious and common reasons. I love the jovial spirit. I love the decorations and the music. I love the feeling of goodwill towards all man, the sadness, the nearly vulgar commercialism, the inspiring and cloying television specials, the traditions, the stillness, the togetherness, the loneliness, the giving of gifts, the yearning, the melancholy, the receiving of gifts, the stress, the frustration, the happiness. You've noticed half of those aren’t “positive” things. But I love those parts of Christmas all the same. 

I love Christmas traditions. I love the history of the holiday. I love that Christmas, above any other holiday, lends itself to interpretation and individualized celebration. No other holiday can be celebrated in so many different ways at the same time and still be a unified holiday. From the big historical traditions of sober prayer and reflection of the birth of Christ being performed at the same time as men and women caroling door to door and asking for booze, culminating in fantastic drunken singing and celebrating (these two practices continue to this day, as many begin the day at church and end it passed out on their uncle’s couch with eggnog stains all over their Christmas tie). And the wonders of Christmas tradition specificities go so much deeper and specific than those broad and common examples, even though they are important. Think about what you/your family does at/around Christmas time. I bet you no other family does the same exact things. From having an aluminum tree or a real one, from going to Christmas Eve of Christmas morning mass, from having turkey or ham, stringing popcorn or making gingerbread houses, going to the mall to see Santa, the time you open gifts, the specific relatives’ house you go to and when. Everyone’s Christmas is so very different and unique and special yet it’s all still Christmas. That’s a beautiful thing. 

And that segues nicely into the whole the meaning of Christmas. No, not Jesus. Well, I mean, yes, for a large percentage of Christmas celebrators it is about the birth of Jesus. But once again I go back to history. Christmas, or at least the midwinter holiday, goes back so much farther than the Church. I’m talking about the deep historical beginnings of it. Because there were, across the majority of societies in the northern hemisphere, traditions and practices that took place in the dead of winter. Because the days were cold and short and the nights were long and dark, and most things are dying or dead. .  But it’s important to remember that this time is only temporary, and in the spring life will rise anew. So we come close together, stay warm, counteract those dark nights buy putting up some lights, and focus on the things that are still alive. Like each other, and those trees that never lose their green. This is better summarized in a quote from Community. "[Christmas is] the crazy notion that the longest, coldest, darkest nights can also be the warmest and brightest. And when we all agree to support each other in that insanity, something even greater happens: it becomes true.”But that’s not the meaning of Christmas either. 

Time to pull out one of my favorite quotes not said by a dead guy. “The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning. And it can mean whatever we want it to.” It can mean whatever we want it to. It can be about whatever we want it to be about. From the more poetic and romantic reasons I described above, but for all the other smaller, still poetic and romantic reasons, and even the seemingly trivial. Best Christmas song about the definition of Christmas once again comes from Community. “Christmastime is a time to sing, that’s what Christmas is for. Christmas can even be a Hanukah thing. And for a huge percentage of this God-fearing planet it’s about the birth of Jesus Christ, but for the rest of us it’s still a good time to remember that it’s good to be nice. Music and cookies and liquor and trees, video games for two straight weeks, hanging out with the people you love and saying I love you. That’s what Christmas is for.” It can be about anything. And it is about a different thing for each person. It can be about flying out to your grandma’s in Arizona. It can be about sitting down with your Dad and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. It can be about sitting down to listen to Mr. Feeny read A Christmas Carol. It can be about having 32 people in your dining room, and just sitting back listening to the sound of 32 voices meld into the Christmas music playing in the background (that’s what it is for me, among other things). It can be about spending the morning at your mother’s house, then going to your dad’s apartment in the afternoon, wishing that maybe next year things’ll be better. It can be able playing video games for two straight weeks because woo-hoo no school. It can be about the competition with your neighbor over your outdoor lights and decoration display. It can be about quiet reflection, as you kneel and stare at the nativity scene on the altar.  It can be about sitting alone, slouched in your easy chair, watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special and drinking too much, waxing nostalgic about Christmas past.

“See, there's a kind of melancholy that bubbles up around the holidays, a melancholy that unites all of the greatest Christmas stories, from A Charlie Brown Christmas to It's a Wonderful Life to A Christmas Carol. I realize this is such a snobby thing to say, but the people who think Christmas is about unalloyed joy, about smiling until you're gritting your teeth, I don't think they GET IT, not really. Christmas is about another year coming to a close and drawing the people you love closer to you because you don't know what you'd be without them. It's about what you don't have as much as what you do have, about the realization that loneliness is the flip-side of love and happiness only comes easily after you've been through some pain. To me, Christmas and New Year's are all wrapped up in sadness and melancholy and loneliness, and that's what makes the happiness feel that much more earned, that much more essential.”

 (I had to use this long quote because it encapsulates my feelings so well that to attempt to write it in my own words would just be a sorry attempt at plagiarism-dodging. This is a quote from Todd Vanderwerff, a TV critic, from one of his Community reviews.) I also like this quote very much, because my Grandma died right before Christmas a few years back, and there were some in the family that wanted to essentially cancel the holiday. But this quote is a reminder of why doing so would be the wrong thing to do.

Christmas is consistent in its ability to bring up the past. This is especially so for the people that now only exist in the past and in our hearts. Of course, we remember our grandma or whoever on various and random other occasions when something reminds us of them, like a smell or place or food. But for some magical reason, Christmas is a reminder of times past, whether because the same 50-year-old specials are shown on TV or the same traditions are upheld, I’m not sure, but that probably has something to do with it. There’s this yearning for times gone by, for the Christmases we used to know, because this year someone is missing, someone might be dead, or overseas, or just somewhere else because that relationship has ended. And we all know how emotional and intense the power of nostalgia can be. 

Then you have Advent, a time of longing and yearning and waiting. Waiting for what is to come, the birth of Christ, from a religious standpoint. So there lies this yearning for the future, for what is yet to come, the religious aspect that remains, in part, sometimes even in secular celebrations. And then these two yearnings, that yearning for the past and yearning for what is to come, merge together and manifest in a yearning of the present, yearning for it to be as good as those past Christmases, as good as it can be or ever will be. (Toss in the fact that ghost stories had a common connection with the Christmas season in the past, and Dickens’ story makes a whole lot more sense, from my perspective.) So much yearning.

So this is already really long and most of you won’t read all of this and whatever, even though I really hope you do and will post this like 5 times, so I guess I should kinda wrap up even though there’s so much more I want to say. But I’m really bad at conclusions, at endings. I don’t like endings.  Just have a Merry Christmas. Celebrate it in your wonderful, magical, unique way. “Well done. Well done, everyone. We’re halfway out of the dark.”

"Who ate all the Pecan Sandys?" Hurricane Help

I have a friend named Catherine Boyd. She lives in Ventnor City, NJ. She plays the violin like a champ. She managed to go out inland just in time before Hurricane Sandy hit. Her and her husband, an artist, are safe. Her cat is happy. She can't go back to her house yet, the sewage system is on overload and 8 feet of water flooded the street around the corner from where she lives.  Here's part of the email she sent me:

"Truth is, I've been unable to go to sleep every night. I'm worried sick about my husband's artwork in our garage and in his store on Ocean City (which we just found out got 2 feet of water). We're not allowed to go and check on anything yet, we're not allowed to go back on these islands for whatever reason (looting, potential poops in the street, we're tenants in the store and the owners are letting insurance adjusters in first instead of us). It takes mold only 12 hours to take root. On top of the raw sewage and toxic chemicals, oh God I'm crying again. We may have lost 200K of artwork. I pray that it's less. Not knowing is making us crazy.
I'm worried sick about mold growing on my husband's artwork. I cry when I think of the food spoiling in our fridge. It's not like we're super wealthy people here. We're supposed to stay with a friend tonight, who lives about 20 minutes away from our place. There's a tree across his driveway, so thank God my instinct was to take shelter far inland."

I was supposed to go to Philly this weekend by train. Amtrak is closed because of the intense damages and disruptions caused by the storm. I was annoyed and angry. But here I am, pissed that my weekend plans are ruined, and there's a woman who can't get back to her home because there's literal shit in the streets.

I'm taking my refund money that I get from Amtrak and donating it to the Red Cross.

I'm not trying to be preachy or holier-than-thou because I kinda needed to be preached too. I'm not really the person who floods News Feeds with pictures of starving African children and all those other important social and humanitarian issues. But it takes that one personal story for it to hit you. Yes, I can tweet "my prayers and thoughts go out to the victims" and all that. Which is a nice sentiment. It's a nice, simple thing to send your thoughts/prayers/good vibes/etc and I'm just a spiritual enough person to believe that it has to have some sort of effect. But it's not the least someone can do. It's, like, less than the least I can do. That doesn't make sense, but it does to me. I'm not poo-pooing on people who made things like that their statuses, nor am I poo-pooing on the people who were celebrating not having school or complaining about no power. Or the people making Gifs and memes of the hurricane with Sandy Cheeks superimposed (those were funny). Make those jokes, celebrate not having school, send out your prayers and thoughts. But you can do more. Most usually, "doing more" in a situation like this means giving money to somebody. And we can all definitely afford even $5 or something.

Again, not trying to be preachy, I hope I don't come off that way. What I'm saying is do something. Even if that means giving some money. It can also mean volunteering. Or going to your neighbors house and helping pick up some branches that fell or something. Just do something. Volunteer. Donate. Or don't, I'm not your boss.

Red Cross:
http://www.redcross.org/charitable-donations

Direct Relief International
http://www.directrelief.org/donate/

PS. NBC is doing a big benefit concert on NBC this Friday, 8-9pm, with money going to the Red Cross to help New Jersey residents affected by Sandy. Bruce, Bon Jovi, Billy Joel, et al are going to be on air. If you're one the Twitter, tweet about it using #RedCrossCommunity. Because **schmultzy, corny statement alert** we are all one big ass community.

PPS The title of the post is a quote by Roger from American Dad's first episode. Has nothing to do with anything besides "Sandy." 

HOCUS POCUS Drinking Game

So Hocus Pocus is my all time favorite Halloween movie. It's one of those movies I watched as a child that just penetrated deep within my brain and created a special place there. There's something about it that I will never tire of.

Anyway, I came across a couple of Hocus Pocus drinking games. I wasn't fully satisfied with them; I didn't think they were creative enough. So I decided to make my own. Be aware I did not take into account that abiding by all these rule will probably kill you.



Take a drink every time:
- Winifred says "SISTAHS"
- Mary barks
- Sarah acts the slut (decided at your own discretion)
- Max is referred to as "Hollywood"
- Billy Butcherson loses his head
- Someone says "Sanderson Sisters"
- The Sisters are befuddled by 1993 technology (decided at your own discretion)
- Winifred uses physical violence on her sisters (I would include verbal abuse but that would lead to alcohol abuse)

Chug your drink:
- When Winnie is reciting a spell
- When Sarah is singing (chug for at least 2 lines of the song)

Take a shot when:
- Binx dies
- Somebody says "Hocus Pocus"

Girls drink:
- When Binx mentions his sister Emily
- When Dani screams 
-When Dani says Yabos

Guys drink:
- At any/all appearances of Jay/ICE
- When Sarah sees a boy and says "Lemme play with him"
- When Max looks at Allison with obvious sexual attraction

Special Rules:
- Whenever the word "Virgin" is spoken, all virgins take a drink
- Whenever Mary smells children, all under 21 (or the youngest people, make it work) take a drink

WHEN THEY SING "I PUT A SPELL ON YOU" EVERYBODY MUST DANCE, SING, OR BOTH. THERE IS NO DRINKING DURING THE SONG SO AS NOT TO DISTRACT FROM THE WONDERS OF THAT MUSICAL NUMBER.

Have fun! Don't die! And remember:

I Guess I Just Like Liking Things

The very recent news about NBC postponing Community's October 19th premiere has led to another expected call-to-arms from us Communies. But as we once again don our evil goatees and threaten to burn Utica and 30 Rock plaza to the ground, I've discovered another group of people reacting to it. Yes, the trolls are once again emerging from their dank under-bridge dwellings to add insult to injury.

Now, I have been very lucky in that I have very few experiences with trolls. I was only an active member of one community forum (like ten years ago, it was for the video game Golden Sun) and I never scroll down past the info section of a YouTube video. Because I don't like to deal with that. I don't like having my parade rained on, or giving in to someone who wants the satisfaction of knowing they might ruin someone's day with a needlessly hateful comment. But that changed when I became very socially conscious, got into television a lot more, and became a full-fledged Communie. I began to read as many articles as possible and started following a bunch of my fellow fans on Twitter. I began to read the comments sections of blogs and articles, looking for these same-minded people. So of course I would wind up running into those people who seek out articles on things they don't like just to say they don't like something in the rudest way they can think.

I really don't understand that at all. I don't understand why you would deliberately seek out things you hate just to tell everyone you hate it. It's so unbelievable vain. ( I mean, of course there are things we don't like, things we find sub-standard or unappealing. And that's fine. But there's something so pure and wonderful about rushing headlong into something with the uninhibited enthusiasm of a puppy. ) It's these incredibly self-obsessed people that are doing this. At least that's what I think. So unhappy and alone and desperate to be heard. Someone might post a horrible anti-Obama comment on a random video of a cartoon about a llama. But what they're really saying is LISTEN TO ME!! I WANT TO BE HEARD BUT I'M TOO IMMATURE TO DO SO IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A INTOLERABLE DOUCHE!! This phrase may be incredibly dated, but talk about 'get a life.' But, with these types of trolls, I actually have sympathy for them. It's really tragic. Because, as a licensed psychology major, I can imagine how they're thinking. They are unhappy with their lives and they go on the internet and see people who are happy. It's sad, it's embarrassing, it's depressing. And this depression manifests itself in anger. And then they get to typing.

There is another type of troll, through. A type that annoys me more, because it is much harder to sympathize with this kind. The kind of people who write articles like this: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2012/10/lets-put-community-out-its-misery/57783/
I'll save you the trouble, this guy is rude. And he is attacking the fans of Community and the show itself. I'm perfectly okay with the fact that he doesn't like Community. He doesn't need to. But I can't stand how he talks about us Communies. What is wrong with liking something? Can anyone give me an answer to that? I know there's a wise-ass saying something like "well there's something wrong with liking to drown bunnies or liking to rape people", but I'm talking about things like a TV show, a movie franchise, an animal, a sports team, a band or singer. Because we all have different interests, different likes and dislikes, opinions, obsessions. And that's a wonderful thing. It's what makes us people, what makes us interesting. Do I really have to spell out why it's wrong to hate someone for having a different opinion than you? Jeez.

I have a friend who doesn't understand my obsession/love with Community. I'm fine with it. I'll admit, I still get a little upset when she makes jokes about it. But it's fine. I don't understand her obsession/love of her cats. I like cats. I would like to have a cat. I can't see myself being obsessed with a cat. But what I can understand is a person's natural capacity to be obsessed with something.  To love and admire something so much that you actually give out a part of yourself to and for it. It's a beautiful thing. Beautiful and admirable and awesome and honest.

So why hate on a group of people for liking something? (Once again, some wise-ass is bringing up the KKK or the Nazis) What's wrong with a community of people with a common interest? Connecting with people over common interests is just as natural as our capacity to love something/someone. Once again, I understand not liking something. It's perfectly okay to not be a fan of something, whether it's a sports team or a TV show. I'm not a fan of the Twilight movies. I've never read the books, so I can't say anything about them, but I will admit to seeing the first Twilight movie. I didn't care for it. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go find a Twilight message board somewhere and start ripping on it. That doesn't mean I'm gonna go punch some tweenage girl with an Edward Cullen shirt in the still developing ovaries. Because while their screaming admiration might be annoying, I'm not gonna let it turn me into an ass. I can't respect what they are obsessed with, but I can respect their fervid and enthusiastic loyalty to it. (The same thing goes for fandoms in sports and in music.)

I'm not trying to be all "why can't we all get along and be one big happy family." I'm saying that I'm disappointed in people, like that guy who wrote that article, that don't understand something as fundamental as the power of a community (and it is completely coincidental that the community I'm involved in is for a show called Community). Because he must be obsessed with something. At least I hope he is. I hope he's in love with the band Phish or something. And he has, like, 23 Phish shirts and a bunch of ticket stubs from concerts. Because we all have things we are obsessed with. And if he doesn't, what a sad existence that must be: to not be passionate for anything.

We all like liking things. And we all need to understand that and stop being dicks. People just need to be able to take that one extra second before hitting send on that racist comment and think "Is what I'm doing making me look like an asshole?" That's been South Park's central message for years: Just don't be an asshole.

Some of you may read this and shake your head with disagreement. Fine. How about this piece of social commentary from Futurama? "Society is never gonna make any progress until we all learn to pretend to like each other."

And, obviously, I will end this with a quote from my beloved Abed:

“The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn’t to fight it but to weather it together. It won’t matter what happens to us as long as we stay honest and accepting of each others'  flaws and virtues.” I think this can apply to our likes and dislikes, too.

Community's Future

I wrote this shortly after the announcement that Dan Harmon was fired, but never got around to finishing it and putting it up here. It might not have the same effect because emotions aren't as powerful as they were that crazy three-day period, but I still want to share it:

Been watching a bunch of season one episodes. It reminding me of something I don’t need reminding. I LOVE this show. It’s so good. And in the midst of all this sadness of harmon leaving and the producers and writers and the day change and shortened episode numbers, It’s important to think of the positives. It’s always important to thing of the positives in moments of crisis. It brings hope. Hope is laughed at and mocked and such but it’s so necessary.  People think it’s foolish to be hopeful. People think they are better, smarter, than to have to rely on hope. But I say screw you.  I could go into a whole other thing about all that, but it would stray too far away from the point. Back to the point. 

The positives. It’s not cancelled. We get a season 4. That’s more than Arrested Development got, and now they’re coming back to do another season and a movie. There’s hope right there. The new producers have worked on good/great show like Happy Endings and The IT Crowd. Hope. But the most important positive to remember is that in the fall we’ll turn on NBC on Friday and we’ll still be at Greendale. And isn’t that what we fell in love with? Greendale? The study group? We didn’t fall in love with the show because it can pull off a genre parody. Of course, it’s one of the reasons we do love the show, its ability to successfully do an epic and fantastic parody of an action movie or spaghetti western or Apollo 13 or a video game. It’s great. And it will be a hallmark of the Dan Harmon era. But the reason why those episodes are fall-in-love worthy is because they don’t forget about the characters just to get the genre right. Modern Warfare was “the episode with the paintball,” will be what everyone says first. But the second thing that should be remembered about that episode is that it’s the one where Jeff and Britta finally have sex. ON THE STUDY ROOM TABLE. (Remember. The Table. Is. Magic.) The Claymation Christmas episode is not just the one where it’s Claymation but it’s the one where we understand a bit more about Abed’s psyche (of course there are like 10 episodes about this, my favorite being Intro to Film). Epidemiology is the zombie apocalypse episode, but more importantly it’s the one where Shirley and Chang have sex in the bathroom and she GETS PREGNANT.  There are the “high concept” episodes whose primary subject is the characters before the genre parody. Cooperative Calligraphy is a bottle episode. But they use the bottle episode format to get into the characters so much deeper. Remedial Chaos Theory could’ve been some awesome adventure of crazy timelines filled with crazy events. It was awesome, of course, but it was used to take a closer look at the group dynamic to see how it would be without one specific person. We love those episodes because of THE CHARACTERS. We love the second paintball because they were fighting. Not just fighting a paintball war in a spaghetti-western-turned-Star-Wars style, but because they were fighting FOR GREENDALE. 

When season Four starts we won’t have Dan Harmon. We won’t have the Russo Bros. We won’t have Chris McKenna or Neil Goldman or Garrett.  But we will have Troy and Jeffrey, and Annie and Britta, and Shirley and Pierce, and Abed and Jeffrey. And the Dean! And we have to believe, because it is true, that Harmon created enough of a foundation in these characters and that place that it will be hard to totally mess up by people with hardly any qualifications, let alone two people who are as capable as Moses Port and David Guarascio.

I’m not saying it will be the same. I’m not saying it will be better. I’m saying it will still be a place I want to go to every Friday at 830 after I make sure I don’t see a bit of Whitney. Greendale’s where I belong. The study group is who I love. Not a movie parody.

Occupy Selfishness

I thought I'd share my feelings/opinions about some current events. I would love it if you read it all. I know I write a lot and sometimes get carried away..

http://nhregister.com/articles/2012/06/13/news/metro/doc4fd82eab75d37784224319.txt?viewmode=fullstory

Here's just a list of some of my tweets on this subject before I get really into it:

I’m sorry but the grad speech/Occupy thing is Grade A Oscar Meyer Bologna. 

Taking the attention away from the other 300 kids graduating high school is what’s unfair.

Accusing the school of denying you the privilege of speaking at graduation bc of your political affiliations. #OccupyAttentionSeeker

Not accepting the simple fact that you missed the deadline for submitting your speech. #OccupyCommonSense

Leaving school for three months then coming back expecting to walk and speak at graduation. #OccupyCommonSense

Going to the news about being oppressed when you can't abide by simple deadlines.

 #OccupyCommonSense

Being the representative of a student body then leaving for 3 months and expecting a warm welcome upon return. #OccupyCommonSense

Being a typical attention seeking teenage girl and blowing it to even more obnoxious proportions.

"I just never knew about the deadline,” she has difficulty getting internet where she lives." Well too damn bad, missy.

I appreciate the father's statements in this article. #OccupyAtLeastTheresOneSanePersonInvolved

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's get one thing clear. Molly is a fine person. She's smart and all that jazz. I have no problem with the Occupy movement. I have a problem with people being selfish and going to obnoxious ends to extend that selfishness. I agree with a lot she has to say in her little essay there about the educational system and all that. But none of that is the point. Anything at all Occupy related, anything she was going to say in her speech. None of it is the point. I'm not even going to take into consideration her leaving school for 3 months. Still not the point.  

The simple, pathetic truth is that there was a deadline she did not meet. Speaking at graduation is a privilege, not a right. And I don’t care if that makes me sound like a pretentious asshole, it’s true. And since she's all learning in the real world and talking with "real people" (anyone else personally offended when she slammed EVERY STUDENT at NHHS for not being “real people”? seriously, Occupy Rude And Morbid Over-generalization) you would think she would have learned to be a Big Girl. Apparently she learned to value selfishness. What is she a member of the fucking Bluth family? Back to the point. She missed the deadline. She lost the privilege. Be a Big Girl and accept it and take responsibility for your decisions. 

But she did not do that. Instead, she decides to be selfish and make this whole thing about her.  Her not knowing about the deadline is her fault. Her not having proper internet connection is no fault of the school’s. What she does is takes her neglect for the deadline and turns it around, leaping to the conclusion that she is being oppressed because of her civic involvement with the Occupy movement. What? That’s like me saying I failed my Stats exam because John Kerry flip-flops. No. I failed my Stats exam because I didn’t study. Sure, I could have blamed Mr. Jackson’s teaching “techniques.” But instead I acted like an adult and took responsibility for my actions and decisions.

I could be a little more offensive here. She can’t use the Race Card, so she’s using the Occupy Card. Welcome to the new decade, everybody.

The fact the school is letting her come back from a near three-month hiatus and graduate is a huge act of generosity and I won’t even get into any possible conspiracy theories with that. There was sure to have been some bending over backwards for that to be arranged. Yet that’s not good enough? 

My brother says she’s just being a typical teenage girl, seeking attention. That may offend some females for sure, so I’ll edit it slightly. She’s being a typical CHILD. Not getting her way and throwing a tantrum, albeit a tantrum with less shrieking and more news coverage.

I know an argument can be made for her not being selfish. The fact that she’s fighting so hard is because she wants to share her experiences blah blah blah to her peers etc, etc. I get that. Unfortunately, you missed the deadline that would allow you to present it to your classmates. Fortunately, the internet exists. Allowing you to put your speech up there on the interwebs with the added benefit of anyone anywhere in the entire world having access and being able to read about your experiences. And no I hear she will be presenting it at some Occupy thing in Philly or someplace. Good for her. More people than ever will hear it now. 

And I hope that wasn’t some elaborate heist she fathomed weeks ago. To “miss” the deadline, make a fuss, and then manage to get media attention so that more people than normally possible would be able to see it. I don’t think that’s the case, because that’s too…too much like television.

But I still haven’t gotten to my biggest upset about this whole thing. (And bear with me, I’m wrapping up soon)  It was the first thing I tweeted about. Now, I don’t know the exact number, so I will round to 300. 300 other kids. 300 other kids graduating from high school. Some may not think it a big deal, but most do. (And any of you who’ve read my Glee posts know that I think it’s a huge deal) 300 other kids graduating from high school who will now just be known as the 300 other kids who graduating with Molly Gambardella. 300 other kids who got any attention and notice taken away from them because one girl had to bring her selfishness to unreasonable (and apparently newsworthy) proportions. Okay, I’ll need to reference her involvement in the Occupy movement to further my point. She became an outspoken member of the “99%”: a group of people with a common goal, a brotherhood with a like cause. Much like many people consider their high school class to be. She’s the president of the Class of 2012. And this stunt is not being a leader for them. What is a high school class’ common goal, like cause? No, not “to graduate high school, get into college, get a good job and get money” (what Molly so effectively connects to The Matrix (see, I can compliment the girl, too)). But to grow with each other, learn from each other, coexist with each other in the same building, same town, for 4, 7, sometimes 13+ years (from pre-K to grade 12). Growing, learning, coexisting: things Molly didn’t learn to do, apparently, until she became involved in the Occupy movement.  I’m glad that she learned these things, but upset that she has been unable to see the connections with that to her high school class. Her selfish actions, though maybe derived from pure intentions, have unconsciously caused her to weaken the special bond one has with their senior class and to steal away the attention of a large group of her peers that she so unfortunately considers to not be “actual real people.”

I will be attending graduation on Thursday. I will leave any potential protesters be. I will politely clap for Molly as she receives her diploma (to what I can only assume will be a glorious mix of thunderous cheering and courageous boo-ing from the crowd). Just as I will politely clap for every student that walks across the stage, shakes Dr. Dallai’s hand, and gets their picture taken (I hope it’s not as hot as it was in 2010, where it was so hot my face was as red as my gown was maroon). Most of my focus, though, will indeed be on my cousin, Cristina Capriglione. (Here’s betting our family can create a louder response to her crossing the stage than to anyone else’s. Cowbell FTW)

And that’s all I have to say about that.

GLEE finale: Graduation, Dreams

I enjoyed the Glee finale. I actually did. I'm a sucker for finales. I’m going to talk about why more in depth, obviously, and the reason I’ve decided to talk about Glee again is because I liked this finale for more reasons than what I said in my last post. (Of course those reasons will be mentioned again)

First, I want to say something about the songs. I don’t normally talk about the songs, because they are normally a stupid waste of time only used to sell iTunes singles, but every now and then they work for me. And since this may be the last time I talk about Glee in a positive light I might as well talk about them for a moment.  They work for me when a song is being sung and it cuts between the performance of the song and some other story. Like Blaine singing Cough Syrup to Karofsky’s suicide attempt, or Shake It Out to Beiste’s not leaving Cooter. The best example, though, will always be the Season One finale, Bohemian Rhapsody to Quinn giving birth. (Seriously. Go on Netflix. Go to Glee, Season one, episode 22. 18 minutes, 35 second in. Fantastic.) I thought Puck and Finn singing Glory Days as the graduating ceremony was happening was stupid, but it was good because it has to be viewed as them not literally performing it, but it was how they were feeling. Just like that song Rachel was singing on the train. She wasn’t actually singing it on the train; it’s just how she was feeling. And that’s the point of having a musical, to quote Abed: “they sing what they mean instead of making a face.” It’s a reason why people don’t like the genre, but that doesn’t mean it’s not useful.

Lots of the time, I really do dislike Glee. I’ve already talked about the reasons I still suffer through watching it. I may one day write about all the reasons I thinks it’s awful.  I dislike it most when it tries to be like a normal television show. With little weekly plotlines and stories about the characters that don’t come up again, just used to fill in the episode or for wherever/whatever Ryan Murphy’s ego trip takes us that week/makes the characters. Like Artie being interested in directing, or Blaine’s relationship with his brother. I mean, some of them are average, run-of-the-mill TV fodder, but Glee isn’t really successful when it tries to tell any specific character stories. It is successful when it tells larger, universal/archetypal ones. Glee is really good at playing off big emotional moments, especially big moments lots of people have lived through (like graduating high school. (Glee doesn’t have to be subtle, so neither should I)). When it takes those moments and puts it on the characters, instead of the other way around, it works so much better.

“Goodbye” doesn’t have a plot. Pretty much nothing happens. They graduate. They sing songs.  Yet the episode was moving, sad, and entrancing. It felt so momentous, because when we went through it, it felt. So. Momentous. I know when I graduated--only two years ago--I felt lost and excited, just like these crazy Glee bastards. Because the world was now in front of me, and I had no idea what to do with that. It’s terrifying. Because of the very real possibility of failure.

Failure, as I talked about before, has always been prevalent in the really good episodes of Glee. Because, think about it, these are kids who love to perform. I don’t know the actual statistics, but I’m pretty sure high school performers are less likely to “make it big” than high school athletes (which also has pretty low stats). Again, like I said last time, look at your parents. Some of them might be doing what they love. But they are few and far between. And if they are doing what they love it’s probably in the context of a basic middle-class life. (Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a basic, middle-class life, I’m just saying: most dreams, especially teenage dreams, are a little bigger than that) So when the show even allows the possibility of this, it’s pretty successful in my eyes.

I know that on one point this show is about the “joy of performing.” But joy is boring, from a dramatically interesting standpoint. (Which is probably why I’m having a hard time writing about the funny episodes of all the wonderful sitcoms I watch) So when the show does those episodes about how much fun they’re having, it sucks. When they toss in stupid melodramatic plots to counteract that, it also sucks. When they try to have melodramatic plots about these kids confronting serious/important issues, it’s mostly a 50/50. But when the show is about these crazy Glee bastards confronting the fact that they could end up never doing what they love, staying in their hometown, working at Linens ‘N’ Things or the Lima, Ohio equivalent of Big Y, it’s often been fantastic. Or at least wonderful. Ok, at the very least, it doesn’t make me want to murder small woodland creatures.

That brings me to Rachel Berry. Now, there was no denying that Rachel was going to be the girl to get out. It’s been established since the pilot. To make her character not get into NYADA (a word I NEVER want to hear spoken again) would be to completely kill the point they were making with her character.  Rachel is talented, that’s always been made clear. But she’s also got the persistence. She harassed Whoopi Goldberg enough to get into NYADA, as only one minor example. She’s motivated, she’s driven. You can see that from all the shit in her bedroom and locker. And how every other sentence she’s said since season one has included the word “Broadway,” “New York,” or “star.”

Rachel is painfully, obnoxiously annoying. Annoying as holy hell. She’s been insufferable about her dreams. Going on and on and on and on about them. Nonstop. We all know someone (or many people) like this. Who has a goal or a dream and are constantly doing stuff to work on getting there, constantly talking about it. And it’s annoying. Irritating. Obnoxious. But the point being made is that those people annoying you with their “big dreams” and with their frequent, if not nonstop, working on them are often the people that will achieve those dreams. Don’t get me wrong, there a certainly completely delusional people out there, but there are those people we know that just seem destined to live out their dream lives. Glee reminds us that the successful people of this planet we live on, 9 times out of 10, are the Rachel Berrys. The people who talk nonstop about what it will take to become a pro-athlete or a famous actor or the president. And it’s funny. Because we admire that quality when they’re up there, giving their inauguration speeches, post-Super Bowl interviews, and Oscar speeches, but we find it immensely irritating in real life. I, for one, have a hard time deciding what to eat for breakfast, why would I want to deal with someone who knows EXACTLY where the next thirty years will take them?  

I should talk specifically about the actual episode a little, though. Most of the scenes were nice; tying up storylines about where all these characters are going. Mercedes is going to LA to be a backup singer for some indie label. Quinn is going to Yale, and she’ll be able to walk around and dance if she wants to, I guess. Santana’s got an envelope full of Gloria Estefan’s money, so she’s all set to do whatever. Will finally tells Finn how much of a creeper he was back in the pilot when he spied on him in the shower and then planted weed in his locker. (Remember??) Brittany is staying at McKinley, because she’s a moron. A loveable, good-looking, dancing, fat cat having, moron. Puck managed to graduate, which I suppose is a victory in itself. And the underclassmen will be fine until next fall, probably. And the teachers once again say goodbye to another generation of kids they’ve grown too fond of, forever sending young people off into an uncertain world.

Most of these scenes are only motivated by the fact that it’s the finale and they’re graduating. But that’s enough for it to be good, because when they move plot aside to focus on the emotional moments, it always works. Nearly always, at least. The Puck and Brittany scenes were meh for me, and I feel like they could’ve done something better with the Santana stuff. But what I was unprepared for was the Quinn/Sue goodbye scene. I didn’t expect to be affected by it, but I was. And I don’t think it was just because I enjoy both Jane Lynch and Dianna Agron.

Two other scenes stuck out for me, and I’m sure they stuck out for most people as well. First: the scene where Rachel, Kurt and Finn are opening their letters. Finn doesn’t get into the Actor’s Studio (Which makes complete sense and no one should be mad/upset/surprised about). Rachel gets into NYADA (and I repeat, makes total sense and no one should get mad about it). But Kurt doesn’t get in. They’ve normally been really good to Kurt in that he’s gone through a lot of shit but has always come out on top. So it’s sad, yes, but kind of nice that they made something bad happen to their saint character that won’t be fixed for a while. But God, that scene nailed the emotional shit, because that moment has happened to everybody. Lord knows I remember opening my BU letter, taking like two hours of trembling before clicking on the link, to see my rejection written out so plainly. And the several days after that, feeling defeated, sad, depressed. Having to change my plans (I would say dreams, to be more fitting, but I didn’t really have any).

Finn’s joining the army was a gutsy move, only because they mentioned the possibility only ONCE before, in that episode where he learns his father’s death hadn’t been as noble as he’d thought. But it makes sense that he does that instead of going out to try to become a star. Because that’s not who Finn is. He’s always just been there as the support for Rachel. He’s a loser and a lummox. He only was able to become the lead because they needed a lead and he looked the part. But that scene where Finn drives Rachel to the train station. Lea Michele and Cory Montieth kill it. They nailed it. It was great. It was great because it goes on and on and on and on, and never seems like it’s going to end, because you’re seeing a whole set of dreams disintegrating in front of these kids’ eyes, replaced by another, much more uncertain one. But that’s the way the dreams you have at 17 or 18 are. They gradually fall apart, and then you build new ones. Or maybe you get caught up in the old ones and wish for a way to go back, for a time machine you don’t have. I’ll quote Springsteen (I figure it’s appropriate because they sang Glory Days DURING the graduation ceremony, which was lame. Finn was singing as he was giving Emma a hug and accepting his diploma, smh) : Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true, or is it something worse?

The COMMUNITY finale

Ok, I got sent to Twitter jail, and I couldn't NOT say something. Luckily I started this blog.
I'm shaking from excitement and from all the energy I exerted these past hours, so I know I won't be able to write out all my thoughts and feelings about the finale, let alone the other two episodes, let alone let alone the show as a whole.

But I just needed to say that those final scenes made me feel so many feelings. And I know I would have cried if the show didn't get renewed and that was it. I would have died. Dead. Done. Best show ever. Six seasons and a movie. I can't even make a proper sentence because I'm so damn excited and filled with emotions.

I think what I'll do when I talk about Community is go one episode at a time. Compile a list of my all-time favorites that have such powerful significance for me to talk about. I don't think I'll ever find the words to write about this season's finale, though. But I think I can do some episodes justice.

GLEE

Don’t know how to start this professionally so I’ll just jump right in:

I think the stuff in the body-swap episode really pinpoints the stuff that I like about Glee. In fact, a lot of episodes this season did, but they become a blur to me. I feel like season two was a real mess in that it completely lost its direction due to its huge-hit status and so just started going slightly insane, burning through plotlines and story arcs like Ozai burning through the Earth Kingdom (can I get a ‘Yip Yip’?). Season 3 still had some of this, but much less so than that second season. So what I like most about Glee can be seen in most of the first season and a handful of the almost-over season three.

I know I don't like Finn, and that's bad because it prevented me from fully getting into and appreciating his story arc, because it really nails, once again, the stuff that I like about Glee. First I guess I should explain why I hate Finn. Cory Monteith (who's THIRTY by the way) played Charlie Tanner on Kyle XY. Charlie Tanner was a douche that cheated on the wonderful and dare-I-say perfect Amanda (Kirsten Prout). So I hate him/ I know that's stupid, but fuck you. Also, his original character on Glee--popular athlete with a hidden passion for singing--was a little too High School Musical for my taste. ANYway,

The prime example that was in this episode was Rachel’s little monologue in the car with Tina on her way to harass Whoopi Goldberg. Also, parts of Tina’s wonderful rant at the beginning of the episode. “Isn’t she the one who had a stutter?” 

What originally brought me to watch Glee was the review of the pilot episode at The AV Club. Also, I will admit, I am a fan of a good song and dance number. Let’s be real, everyone enjoys a good performance, there’s no denying. And some of those song and dances have been quite phenomenal (See season one’s finale, for example). But what I really liked was the inherent sadness that was a part of Glee. Will Scheuster (a character I’ve come to hate and only appreciate when he’s creepily smiling in the corner during a performance) was a man who had failed.  His dreams didn’t come true. That’s sad in itself, but it’s made more tragic by the fact that he went back to his high school, the place of his glory days, and tripped into a job as a Spanish teacher if only to be in that place and cling on to that dead and gone dream. Rachel was a girl, albeit obsessive and a little conceited (turned a lot conceited) and crazy, who was talented and whose talent was going unnoticed and unappreciated.  You had your bullied-gay-kid and kid-in-a-wheelchair, because Glee wanted to let you know from the very beginning that it wasn’t going to be subtle or put in any effort at all to be subtle.  

What I’m saying is you feel bad for these people. Or at least you were meant to.  And once season-one-Will’s arc (thankfully) became much more minor halfway through, after him ending it with his high-school-sweetheart-turned-assistant-manager-of-Sheets-N-things-crazy-with-fake-pregnancy-nonsense-wife (who I actually miss, btw), it got to what the show really became/is about: life as a teenager. 

When you’re a teenager everything is a big deal and blown out of proportion. It’s an earth-shattering moment when you get dumped by your boyfriend via text message or if you have a bad hair day. You feel like a king when you give a presentation without stuttering like season-one-Tina or when you’re made captain of your (insert sport here) team. Or when you jump up and cheer with the rest of your band/choir mates when your Superior rating is announced your sophomore year after getting a Fair when you were a freshman (Mr. Tedeschi surprisingly didn’t murder anyone, which I attribute to the wonder and magic of Disney World). These things matter; they’re big deals. 

It’s the over exaggerated, over dramatic highs and lows of something like picking out a prom dress that shows that being a teenager is filled with such high energy and excitement and confusion and chaos. I often call Glee nonsense and a confusing hot mess, but I continue to watch it. It’s because I know it’s a confusing hot mess because that’s what it’s like being a teenager and that’s what this show is about (Of course there are things about the show that I loathe, like their unnecessary PSA episodes, but I’ll talk about that another time, maybe). 

The second big thing Glee is about is dreaming. Most especially teenagers and their dreams. The best part about Glee is that it makes it clear that most dreams do not and will not come true. That’s something that other shows have dealt with, but Glee deals with it in the context of teenagers. And when you’re at an age where who you sit with at lunch is more important than who the president is, your dreams are the ultimate epitome (redundant, I know, but I want to get the point across) of a big freakin’ deal. 

I’ve liked season 3 because of its focus on being a senior and graduating, the most annoyingly stressful time in a young adult’s life, for sure.  Finn’s storyline during this time gets a bit iffy, but it encapsulates the reason I like the show. He doesn’t know what the fuck he wants to do (even though now he does, apparently, but it’s too convenient for me and doesn’t make sense, he wants to be an actor all of a sudden?) with his life. And although I think Will’s method in the Saturday Night Fever episode of him taking Santana, Mercedes, and Finn into a room and saying “FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIVES BY THE END OF THE WEEK. ALSO, a song and dance number on this floor Sue pulled out of her ass” is the most LUDACRIOUS thing ever, the scenes with Finn in that episode hit hard on the fact that sometimes, you’ve gotta accept that you’re a loser. Like Will. That maybe whatever dreams you may have will not come true. Because most of the time they don’t. That’s why I can put up with Rachel. She is the way she is because she wants her dreams to come true so badly, so painfully badly. She doesn’t want to accept the very real possibility of a failed dream. 

Finn not getting the football scholarship and thinking about giving up and working as a mechanic. Rachel choking at her audition and being completely devastated as her dreams walk out of the theater under Whoopi’s head-scarf. Quinn getting pregnant. All of these things happening in the swirling chaos that are the high school years are intense to say the least. And when those things happened to those characters, and they don’t know what to do next, that’s it. It’s that emotion they are able to capture at those times, the feeling of what it is to not know what comes next, that’s why I watch Glee.

Because that’s the feeling you get, and all you high school seniors will know what I mean. It’s May. You all have got about a month left. Many of you may know what you’re doing next fall. I’m sure some of you don’t. I’m sure there a many of you who are going to a college with no idea of a major, no idea of what you actually want to do with your life. Or no idea of how to fulfill the dreams you have. Or you know what you want to do, how to fulfill your dreams, but have no plan for if and when an obstacle comes in your way and throws you completely off course.

That brings me all the way back to that body-swapping episode.  What Rachel says in the car to Tina. She’s terrified that her dreams won’t come true (and she doesn’t have a backup plan). To paraphrase what she says: Think of most of the adults you know. Things may have used to go there way (in high school, perhaps? winkwink) and now have jobs that they hate and/or live lives that they don’t even recognize. ( I was about to recommend sitting down with your parents and asking them what their dreams were when they were in high school, but I feel like that could lead to a real bummer of a conversation, and in an extreme case a potential divorce.) So she’s terrified that she will have to give up. Or settle. Settling may be worse than giving up. She’s TERRIFIED of that. Having to live a life like season-one-Will. Settling for what’s just good enough to get by. And I don’t mean get by in economic terms. Settling for what’s good enough, just good enough, to not want to kill yourself. And that sounds depressing. Because it is. 

It’s not everyone. But it’s most people. Most people will settle. Most people are, like Tina, in the background (a better example would be those kids who play the instruments for the Glee club, they are SUPER in the background). There are far more people dreaming about being in movies than there are people who dream about being an assistant regional manager at a second-rate paper company. But there are far more not-famous people than there are famous people. There are far more people sitting in a cubicle than there are Nobel Prize winners or astronauts. 

And I like Glee for showing those moments and being able to say those things; I really appreciate the fact that they do make it clear that most dreams don’t come true. I’m not saying I enjoy depressing, sad, and borderline macabre type things, I’m saying I appreciate that Glee treats these as real and important parts of life. There’re as integral to the human experience as happiness is. Not everything is all sunshine and rainbows. There will be sunshine and rainbows. But there will be rain and clouds just as often.  There will be show-stopping performances. There will be those four years of high school that feel like they’ll never end. Those friendships, those people you care so much about, those people you love.  But the curtain will always close. You’re gonna wake up, seniors, one day soon. It might not be in June or July or even in a year from now. But you’re gonna wake up. And they won’t be there anymore. Sure, you’ve got Facebook and cell phones. But that won’t stop it. Trust me. The train doesn’t stop. The curtain closes. Fade to black. And then whatever comes next.

I don’t mean for this to be depressing. I could try to be optimistic and say “The curtain will close, so end on a high note!” or something like that. But that won’t solve anything. Just look at Will Schuester. You end on too high of a note, and you’ll never want that note to end. You could end up lost in a life you don’t recognize, living in desperation of your lost dreams, living in painful nostalgia. 

Okay, I’m getting super depressing. But I’m saying all that because, once again, that’s why I like Glee. I’m definitely writing about Community soon, and that will have much more positive messages and such. Don’t think I’m a super depressing person. It’s just that I want to explain why I like Glee. I like it because of its inherent depression. Sadness is just as important as happiness. You need the sorrowful and the joyful. That’s the message here. I’m not trying to be too philosophical or come off as pretentious, but if I do, so be it.